Dealing with challenges

“Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because one we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult -once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.” – M.Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
The more we fight against the challenges and difficult emotions we encounter, the more difficult they appear. The more we surrender to them and let them be without fighting, the easier life seems. Whatever our life looks like, we are going to encounter challenges that will trigger difficult emotions (grief, sadness, disappointment, etc), It is inevitable. It’s part of the human experience. Knowing that this is going to happen, shall we fight this reality, causing more pain by doing so, or surrender to it, like you surrender to the waves of the Ocean when you are on a boat, sailing?
What are the emotions or challenges you are fighting right now? What are you are trying to make disappear? Imagine you are on a boat and these emotions are waves, intense waves. How can you be with the waves without fighting them? Sailing along.

The most painful is our own self-judgement, not others’

When we are judged negatively by someone else (or afraid of being judged), the most painful is not so much the other person’s judgement (or imagined judgement) than our own negative judgement on ourselves, and how this external judgement hit us at a place where we are already judging ourselves harshly. Being aware of our own negative judgement on ourselves and developing compassion and acceptance for all the parts of ourselves (including, and especially, the parts we don’t like) is the first step to self-grow and change. As paradoxical as it may seem, the more you accept yourself as you are, the more you change.

The most painful is our own self-judgement, not others'

When we are judged negatively by someone else (or afraid of being judged), the most painful is not so much the other person’s judgement (or imagined judgement) than our own negative judgement on ourselves, and how this external judgement hit us at a place where we are already judging ourselves harshly. Being aware of our own negative judgement on ourselves and developing compassion and acceptance for all the parts of ourselves (including, and especially, the parts we don’t like) is the first step to self-grow and change. As paradoxical as it may seem, the more you accept yourself as you are, the more you change.